One of my roommates was able to refurbish my old motherboard and it appears to work.
My desktop is still not up. It seems to run fine with some of the drives connected, but when all the drives are connected it is hanging during boot. Hopefully, I'll get around to doing more troubleshooting today.
I'd really like my desktop back up, and so would my roommates. I'm the de facto long-term storage and there's been no access to that for a while. It's also my main development box, and my list of things to package/improve/write has just been getting longer.